Could I be a catfish? Deafness and MTV’s Catfish

For those new to MTV’s Catfish, people write into the show to find out about ‘their one true love’ or someone they have been talking to online but are unsure about.

 Intrepid host Nev (pronounced Neev) and a revolving co-host (miss you, Max!) investigate and are on the case to find out about these relationships!

As a young pre-teen, (1996 represent) I adored the Internet. Apart from feeding my pure and total obsession with X-Files and David Duchovny (yes, I printed off that teacup picture, shhh) it meant I could find likeminded people to talk to. And talk to them, I did. Originally only allowed on for one single hour (oh boy….), I eventually spent my precious hour joining email groups, message boards, chat rooms, bless you AOL.

The Internet led to me making amazing friendships, some of which I still treasure today! I very rarely told people I was deaf as it rarely came up in conversation, this was before mobile phones were popular (yesiamold) and due to the vast slowness of the internet compared to now and living overseas, it was considered de rigueur to have talk show appearances transcribed or written up to share with other fans, so I never missed out on much and never felt my deafness hindered me or held me back in my online friendships, it just wasn’t a factor.

There’s a whole different internet landscape now, with podcasts, stories, snaps and tik toks (I miss you, Vine) becoming the norm and it feels like deaf people and equal accessibility is being pushed aside. Surely as technology advances, it should be making everything more accessible and not less? But that’s another post for another day.

Catfish is a fun show and throws up real questions about connecting with others, and how much can you really connect with them if you don’t speak on the phone with them or video chat or leave voice notes? One mantra on the show is that if they don’t talk on the phone, then the other person has something bad to hide. They pretty much say this in each episode and it always leaves me throwing my hands up in frustration.

Why do they not consider that Deaf people may be on the other side of the screen, they may not feel secure enough in their own identity to admit it or if they really like the person, they don’t want to lose them through preconceptions of what a deaf person would be like, or through someone telling them they’re not worth the effort in communicating with (yes, that happened to me and that hurt!).

In fact, in its seventh season, in over 125 episodes, how have Catfish never showed a deaf person involved in the show? They pride themselves on bringing attention to causes that they rallied behind, minorities, sexuality and gender rights, civil rights, etc but not disabilities? I can only think of two people on the show I saw in a wheelchair, one just gave directions from a porch and the other was in it for getting revenge on a girl because she didn’t pay back a sum of money he gave her.

The Internet is the disabled person’s playground, we can be who we want to be, be interested in what we like, talk for hours about our favourite topics, it means our disability isn’t the first thing that people see or connect with when we engage with them, it’s our personalities… unless you’ve got some amazing thirst traps on your Instagram, then they like what they see too! I know that is the whole premise of the show, people pretending to be someone else but what if you’re not pretending to be someone else, you are you, just not disclosing your deafness at that moment in time and then it never is the right moment? I think that could be an interesting angle for Catfish to take on.

It could be another “Catfish First!” that has been their whole premise for the seventh season and yet with increasing Deaf talent on screens, I’m surprised they haven’t reached out to Nyle DiMarco, Lauren Ridloff, Angel Theory or Chellaman. I think Nev’s energy would gel really well with Jessica Flores aka LimeMoney too. These people would be perfect for the show’s audience and hopefully give some insight on being deaf, romantic entanglements and connecting with people online. 

Who do you think would be a good co-host on the show? Have you found your deafness has affected your online dating?

Basquiat at The Barbican

Basquiat Barbican

One of my goals this year is to try and go to one cultural event each week, whether it be the cinema, theatre, talk or exhibition.  I’m so lucky to be near London so its easy for me to get into town and visit different locations.

Before Christmas, I noticed that the Basquiat exhibition at the Barbican was due to close in a few weeks so I made sure to snap up a ticket for the last week of the exhibition in January.

I must admit I didn’t know a lot about Basquiat so I was hoping to learn something new, I was tempted to do the whole google and wiki learning before the exhibition but I held off as I always felt that a really comprehensive exhibition should be able to tell you about an artist as well as their work on show.  I’m glad I did as I learnt a lot!

Before going, my main take away from Basquiat was that he was a young, black street artist in New York who became the toast of the town with some connection to Andy Warhol and David Bowie. I also knew that Matt Dillon has some of his artwork in his own personal art collection and that he seems to be an influence on Matt’s own artwork so I was intrigued to see Basquiat’s art up close.

The Barbican is such an unusual venue, housed in a Brutal estate in the City of London, its stark concrete houses a hot house of greenery inside as well as exhibition space, gallery and a theatre.

Basquiat Barbican

What’s great about the Barbican exhibition space is that the floor has all these little rooms off a walkway mezzanine so they were able to do themed rooms for different areas of his life, displaying artworks, printed materials like magazine articles (one profile of Basquiat was written by David Bowie himself!), postcards on tables within the rooms, leading back down to his larger artworks and his own reference items on the main floor. Exhibition guides advised us on where to start as we headed up the stairs armed with a map in our mini exhibition guide which detailed which artworks were in each rooms, along with Basquiat’s story.

Basquiat Barbican

My first impressions were energetic colour that draws you in and that Basquiat himself was cute. Shallow I know, but he seemed to have this energy that radiated off him in photos.

Basquiat Barbican

You first head to a room where you learn about how Jean-Michel Basquiat started as a street artist with a friend under the name, SAMO – Same old shit, and they quickly caught the attention of the NYC art press with their brilliantly poetic, witty and barbed tags across NYC. For instance, photographed on a wall outside famous NYC punk store, Trash and Vaudeville, they wrote”SAMO as an end to vinyl punkery” which made me laugh!  I love the distinctive way they wrote the E’s. Love that someone took the time and effort to photograph all the SAMO art they could find around the city, as who would even remember them if they hadn’t photographed them at the time? Really brings home how ephemeral and fleeting the nature of street art can be.

Basquiat Barbican

This developed into selling photocopied collaged and painted postcards, often being chased away from selling outside the Guggenheim museum even though he was able to sell one postcard to Warhol which he was ecstatic about.

As the art world took notice, he very quickly was able to put an exhibition together and they replicated that very first exhibition in one room, with his famous UNTITLED portrait series.

Basquiat Barbican

Other rooms focused on the art life in NYC fused with the emerging club life, with a wall of Polaroids from nights out as well as collaborations with friends. Jean-Michel would DJ at club nights and mingle almongst the up and coming people including Debbie Harry and Grace Jones. Andy Warhol and Jean-Michel became close friends, and collaborated on a few artworks, went on trips to support other artist friends in Europe and supported each others work. I assumed he was gay but he seemed to have various girlfriends who he went on trips with.

Basquiat postcard to Andy Warhol

Sharing a studio with friends led to artwork everywhere, all over the floor, that people would step over,  including a whole fridge that was just tagged all over, even with some Flintstones and Jetsons drawings!

Basquiat Barbican

What I found compelling about Basquiat apart from his sense of humour that came through his art,  was that he couldn’t work in silence, he’d have a radio or music on his boombox or have his television on in the background.

“I’m usually in front of the television. I have to have some source material around me to work off.”

.Surprisingly for a very early 80s guy, he’d already accumulated over 1000 video tapes (including David Lynch’s work!) and a tape player at a time when these were not cheap at all! He seemingly loved to consume everything that caught his interest and put it all together on canvas in his own way. He notably saw Apocalypse Now ten times in one week at the cinema! Sounds like my kinda guy..In all seriousness, I love how he took in everything he enjoyed and put it all together to make artworks based on his self identity, including his famous self portraits .

On the lower level of the exhibition, they showed his own reference library of books with topics like symbols, or African art history, everything that he was intersted in and when you saw those aspects of his education, you can read more into his own work where these motifs repeated. His work may seem primitive or childish at first glance, but actually they can emulate a lot of African folk art and it gives such a deeper meaning to his own artwork. I loved that his mother, Mathilde, took him to lots of exhibitions and museums as a child, he obviously soaked a lot up as he famously said, “I never went to art school. I just looked…” and had various Old Art masters books in his own library. He had a fun artwork with a Young Picasso and old Picasso together which really tickled me, a lot of joy comes out in his artwork, especially with his vivid use of colour and textures.

One of my favourite pieces that was so striking was a very simple, stark self portrait in silhouette.  Lacking the colour of his famous pieces, I found it so compelling and almost emotional to look at?  Plus the imposing frame it was in, housed on a black wall really drew your eye to the image.

Photo credited to Camille Watercolours at her own blog here 

What I love about art is that it is literally so visual and accessible as a deaf viewer, there was a lot to take in. There were a few videos in various rooms, there was one I really wanted to watch that had interviews with Andy and Jean-Michel together and it was lovely seeing them talking together. I wish I’d known what they said but there were only two headphone sets and the exhibition guide in the room said there were transcripts available downstairs but as I went around the rest of the exhibition, I’d forgotten about them. I wish the Barbican had thought to subtitle those videos, because then ten or more people standing around watching one video would gain more insight into what they were saying in a two minute video, rather than just waiting for two people to stop listening and pass the headphones over.

Basquiat Barbican

The gift shop was fantastic with a range of books and artworks replicated on postcards, tote bags, shirts, magnets and even a fancy silk scarf! I picked up an enamel pin of Basquiat’s trademark scribbled crown.  I wish I’d bought the exhibition catalogue but I couldn’t justify it at the time and feel like the exhibition was a full on immersion of his artwork, enough to tide me over.

Basquiat Barbican

Kudos to the Barbican for putting together such a comprehensive and full exhibition with so many different artworks and paraphernalia from Basquiat’s life and career, as well as his life with his friends.  I’m really glad I managed to get a ticket to go!

Basquiat Barbican

Leaving the exhibition, I found a Banksy piece that referenced both Keith Haring and Jean-Michel Basquiat. outside the Barbican’s famous tunnel walkway. So fitting for a street artist himself to make this tribute!

Basquiat Barbican

I loved that Keith Haring was a contemporary of his and a friend. I knew Keith Haring’s name and artwork growing up so I was quite surprised that I hadn’t learnt more about Basquiat in the past, but it seemed he shone brightly but for a limited time due to his drug addiction that sadly claimed his life in 1988.

A few days after the exhibition, I stumbled across a new series on Sky, called AUCTION, showcasing modern and contemporary art auctions at Sothebys and Christies. In the very first episode, Sotheby’s auction off an Untitled 1982 piece from Basqiaut, a lovely large colourful piece, an art consultant says how he looked at it in person for so long, he felt like he left with “his eyes bleeding”. Gasps of disbelief rippled through the auction room as bidding opens at 57 million dollars. These auction audiences are not newbies, many of them would be seasoned veterans of the auction world as collectors, buyers and sellers alike.  The audience’s phones were out to capture the last bid as the Basquiat Untitled 1982 went to a Japanese bidder, for 98 million. Ooof, imagine the commision fees on top!   ….. I checked….. $110.5 million all in total. Wow.

It had originally been bought by a collector in 1984 for $19,000. No wonder people go into art for investment purposes!

It was quite emotional after having seen the depth and range of his artwork on exhibition, to see a piece be sold off and for so high. I hope the buyer displays it proudly somewhere for people to see and I wonder how Basqiuat  himself would have reacted?

Basquiat Barbican

Flying without wings (or ears)

There are many factors to travelling when deaf.  I love travelling alone (another post for another time!) but I always make sure I do a few things when flying. 

I let the airline know I am deaf when I check in or drop my case off, so if there is ever any issues or a case of emergency they would know to have an airline steward let me know directly. They often ask if I need assistance which I don’t, but I mainly do it to make them aware and they usually give me a filled in form to hand in at the boarding gate. 

It’s just communication, plain (plane?) and simple. 

Window seat? Yes, I love the view and let’s be morbid, if the plane fails and falls out of the sky at least I get a good view rather than surrounded by screaming people, with no idea what is happening, which would only heighten your own panic and confusion. Plus you can ignore the people sitting next to you, so no awkward small talk. 

Aisle seat? Let your fellow seatmate know you are deaf in case you are blocking their exit to the aisle and if you fall asleep, their first instinct is probably to talk to you to wake you up, so that’s no good. Yes, you may get a stranger nudging you but better than waking up, due to someone clambering over you. Awkward for all involved. 

I swear by these Mentos Big Gum pieces when flying. Not an ad, although if they’d send me a lifetimes supply for my travels, I wouldn’t say no 😉

The pieces are big enough to chew properly on your molars as close to the ears as possible,  opening and closing your estauchian tubes and the juiciness makes you swallow, also helping to equalise the pressure. None of these skinny wrigleys or puny extras or the non chewiness of wine gums, which I love but honestly, a few chews and you’re done and from personal experience, accidentally scoffing a whole pack of wine gums due to panic chewing as the airplane increasingly climbs makes you feel sick. 

You need something to last a bit longer and not so sickly. Due to the size of the Mentos, they do last the whole taxii-ng and taking off procedure. I usually pop two at a time on the runway and go for a third when climbing in the air. Make those Eustachian tubes work!

There’s 15 in a pack so there’s enough for your return flight home. 

Please note if you neck them all (why?), it does say on the package that there is a laxative effect, but any way to get you moving on the plane, hey?

The red fruit and lime taste is yum too, anything lime based is a winner in my eyes! 

 If you’re flying whilst deaf and wear BTE aids like I do, for goodness sake, take your hearing aids off so there’s no extra barrier for the air pressure to equalise against, otherwise you will get extremely painful ear pressure that won’t ‘pop’ and will block your ears.

Enjoy the peace and quiet if there is a crying baby on board or Business Bros intent on discussing their deals the whole flight. Ahhhh, bliss. 

I love the novelty of not wearing my hearing aids when awake and it may help me realise more about what I can and can’t hear.

 Can you hear that luggage bin closing above your head when the stewardesses slams it? 

Are you aware of the tannoy announcement even if you don’t know what they are saying? Different things to experience and make a note of.

I try to fly only with Virgin as I feel they are one of the best airlines in terms of customer service and they have always been really good for me (Virgin Flight Club represent!). Their online entertainment systems have changed throughout the years and thankfully always improving! 

The latest airplanes have the Vera online entertainment system with a fantastic clear quality screen and they have helpfully recently put captioned films in a category all of their own, under Genres. 

They have a fantastic selection of films 

(yes I am watching Zootropolis for the third time, don’t judge) and you can line them all up in a “saved movies” playlist  and hit play! 

I just wish they would add subtitled versions of the documentaries as well as some kids shows. Would love to watch the Nora Ephron documentary! 

Customs – As SOON as you approach the counter, let the border person know you are deaf, you lipread or communicate through writing or if you have any special communication needs. This is important as they are your gatekeeper to freedom from the airport and you don’t want to get off on the wrong foot! 

Enjoy the destination, safe travels and I’ll write more about travelling when deaf. See you on the flip side!